99) Funny Hindi Jokes

Hindi Girl: What is the difference between "complete and finish"?

Funny Hindi Boy: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one, you are finished !!!!!

98) Hindi Joke

Hindi Joke

An Indian Blonde decides to study English. She learns an essay 'FRIEND', but in the exam an essay on 'FATHER' comes.

She replaced friend with father in the essay. It read:

I am a very fatherly person, I have many fathers. Some of my fathers are male and some are female. I have a new neighbor, I wish to make him my new father.

97) Hindi Jokes

Funny Hindi Jokes
Hindi Boy and Hindi Girl apply for divorce.

Judge: You have 3 children, how will you divide them equally.

Hindi girl thinks for a moment and tells Hindi Boy: "Dear, let's move home, we will apply for divorce after 9 months. "

96) Hindi Jock, Funny Hindi Jocks

Hindi Jock, Funny Hindi Jocks
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give
5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Neha
then what will u get????

....

.....


......


......

Santa: 3 New Girlfriends Mam!!!

95) Non Veg Hindi Jokes, Non Veg SMS

Non Veg Hindi Jokes, Non Veg SMS

Hindi Girl: My husband went to the market yesterday to bring potatoes. He has not returned home yet.

Police Inspector: Why don't you cook something else?

94) Non Veg Hindi Jokes, Non Veg Hindi SMS

Non Veg Hindi Jokes, Non Veg Hindi SMS

A Blonde girl was sitting in her office on the thirteenth floor, another Blonde Girl came running and shouted "Hey Sweety, your daughter Winzi is badly injured in an accident".

Not knowing what to do, she jumped from his office window in panic to reach their as early as possible.

While coming down when she was near tenth floor she remembered she had no daughter named Winzi.

When she was near the fifth floor she remembered she was not married.

When she was about to hit the ground she remembered she was not Sweety.

93) Adult Hindi Jokes

Funny Adult Hindi Jokes
Hindi Girl: Why are all these people running?
Hindi Boy: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Hindi Girl: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running?

92) Funny Hindi Jokes, Sexy Hindi SMS

Two Hindi Lovers plan to commit Suicide.
Boy jumped first. Girl closed her eyes, and returned back saying Love is Blind.

The Boy, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies.

91) Dirty Hindi Jokes, Funny Hindi SMS

Dirty Hindi Jokes, Funny Hindi SMS
Santa: If I die, will you remarry?

Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?

Santa: No, I'll also stay with your sister.

90) Hindi Joke in Hindi

A Hindi boy sent an SMS to his pregnant wife. A couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: "Delivered".

89) Dirty Hindi Jokes

Dirty Hindi Jokes

Santa to Banta: Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.

Banta rushed home angrily. After half an hour, he came back and slapped Santa. He said: You fool, he is not my friend.

Read Clean Jokes at www.litejokes.com

88) Hindi Jokes in Hindi

Hindi Jokes in Hindi
Girl:
Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Boy: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

* * *
Hindi Jokes in Hindi

Sexy Hindi Girl: You tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Boy: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth
.

87) Marriage Jokes, Wedding Jokes

I got this Funny SMS Jokes from a sweet beautiful blond girl friend.

A mouse was dancing & enjoying in a Lion's Wedding. An Elephant was surprised to see this funny thing and asked: Hey Buddy, Why are YOU dancing & enjoying so much?

Mouse continued enjoying & dancing & replied calmly: You may not be knowing, but before my marriage, even I was a Lion.

see www blonde jokes com

86) Funny Non Veg Jokes, Hindi Sms

A short Hindi girl was going to a railway line to commit suicide. She was carrying a tiffin with her.

When asked why?

Hindi Girl: If the train gets late, I will die with hunger...

category: Short Hindi jokes, short non veg jokes, sms

85) Hindi Adult Joke

A Funny Hindi Boy and his wife were on a Tiger Safari when a tiger suddenly dragged the Boy with his jaws.

Boy: Shoot him, Shoot him!

Wife: Wait! Wait! Let me change the battery of my camera.

84) Pregnancy Jokes, Dirty Hindi Jokes

Pregnancy Jokes

A young Hindi woman had given birth in the elevator of a Hospital in Mumbai. She was embarrassed about it.

Doctor: Don't feel bad. Two years back, a Hindi lady delivered in the lawn of this hospital.

The Hindi woman burst out crying and said:

I know..., that was me, too.

83) Blonde Funny Jokes

Blonde Funny Short Jokes

Blonde Boy: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money.

Another Blonde Boy: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.

82) Adult Blond Jokes

Blond shouts at shopkeeper: You cheated me. You sold me a cheap radio.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold you a good radio.

Blond: Radio label shows "Made in Japan" but radio says: This is England National Radio.

81) Adult Blonde Jokes

Adult Blonde Joke
A Sexy Blonde Girl went to a shop to buy Bikini with design of flag of USA. On seeing the Bikini, she said something that confused and irritated the shopkeeper. Guess what did she say.

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"Show me some more colors."

80) Free Blonde Jokes, Adult Blonde Jokes

Free Blonde Jokes Funny Jokes

A gorgeous blonde girl walks up to a professor's cabin and says I will do anything to pass the exam.

Professor: Anything ! ?

Blonde Girl: ya

Prof: Open your books and study.

79) Dum Blonde Jokes

Dum Blonde Jokes

Blonde girlfriend was looking at piece of ice very carefully.
Boyfriend: Why are you starring at it?
Girlfriend: I want to know from which place it is leaking.

78) Funny Blonde Joke

Patient: Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? Once a doctor was treating his patient with pneumonia but the patient died of typhus.

Blonde Doctor: Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."

77) Clean Blonde Jokes

A Blonde Girl goes to a hotel and talks to the waiter.

Blonde Girl: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.

Waiter: Madam, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !!!

75) Ideal Match

2 Funny Blonde Boys were sharing a joke.

First Blonde: Why didn't you marry?

Second Blonde: I was searching for an ideal match.

First Blonde: So, you didn't find an ideal girl?

Seconde Blonde: I found one.

First Blonde: Then?

Second Blonde: She was also searching for an ideal match.

74) Dumb Blond Jokes, Blonde Funny SMS

Dumb Blond Girl: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Dumb Blond Girl: 1 month back.

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Dumb Blond Girl: I was using duplicate key. Now it is also lost.

com

73) Clean Blond Jokes, Blond Funny Jokes

Blond Funny Jokes

Blond Girl: Once when I was playing on a road, a speeding bike hit me and I fell down on the earth unconsciously.

Blond Boy: Oh my God! Did you survive that accident or you died.

Blond Girl: I don't remember exactly, I was only 3 yeas old at that time.

72) Hilarious Blonde Jokes

Here is a Hilarious Blonde Joke:

Blonde Wife: Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he goes to work, why don't you do that?

Blonde Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.

71) Stupid Blonde Jokes

Here are Stupid Blonde Jokes

Blonde Wife: Oh dear when you remove your specks you look like the same cute guy whom I married 20 years back.

Blonde Husband: Yes dear, when I remove my specks, you also look like the same sexy charming girl whom I married 20 years back.

70) Clean Blonde Jokes

Now here are Clean Blonde Jokes

An eldery Blonde patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again.

Doctor: Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased.

Blonde Patient: Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around them and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!

69) Small Jokes

Bihar is a small backward state of India. Laloo is the chief minister that state.

Japanese Prime Minister: Give me Bihar for 3 years, we will turn it into Japan.

Laloo: Give me Japan for 3 months, I will turn it into Bihar.

68) Sexy Blonde Fashion Show

Sexy Blonde ModelA black Blonde Model decides to pose for a picture along with a herd of buffaloes with his elbows resting on the back of the cattle.

Next day the photo appears in a newspaper with caption:

"Sexy Black Blonde Model (right) posing with a buffalo".

see more sex jokes

67) Password

Laloo calls the Help Desk to complain a problem.

Laloo: When I type password, it just shows star star star star.

Help Desk: Those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.

Laloo: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.

66) Small Joke

Our Lalooji was filling up an application form for a job.

He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.

Then he came to the column SEX. He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK.

Clerk told him to write either MALE or FEMALE.

Again our Lalooji thought for a long time before coming up with the answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.

65) Sweet Jokes, Funny SMS

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet.

Lalu: Why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted it...

64) Short Blonde Jokes

Dumb Blonde servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It's raining.

Blonde: So what take an umbrella and go !!!

63) Funny Blonde Jokes

Here are 2 Funny Blonde Jocks

A Blonde Teacher lecturing on population:
In India after every 10 seconds, a women gives birth to a kid.


Blonde Girl stands up: We must find & stop her.

Family Planning

A Blonde goes to China in a family planning seminar. She appeals chinese: Don't give birth to more than 2 children in a year.

62) Chemistry Jokes Oxygen O2

Chemistry Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.

Chemistry Student: Thank God ! I was born after that otherwise, I would have without it.

61) One Liner Jokes

Lalu cuts sides of the capsule before taking it?

Guess why ??????????

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To avoid side effects!!!

60) UP CM Mayavati

Mayavati: So, you want to become my son-in-law?

Boy: Not really, but this is the only way to marry your daughter!

59) Smart Sardar & Kanjus (Miser) Bania

A rich Sardar needed blood for his heart surgery.

He got it from a poor Bania.

Sardar gave him 5 million dollars. Once again the Sardar neede blood for surgery.

Bania was more than happy to donated blood again. This time, Sardar just gave him a Cadburies Chocolate. Bania asked the reason.

Sardar: Now I also have Bania blood in my body.

58) Priest Jokes

A ship was sinking.

Captain: Does any one know how to pray?

A priest comes forward and says he can pray.

Captain: Ok, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket. We are short of one.

57) Pathan Jokes

Pathan's donkey was missing. Pathan was praying and thanking God.

A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; Why are thanking God?"

Pathan: I am thanking Him that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would also have been missing.

56) Urdu Jokes

Urdu Jokes
Wife: (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me compliment?

Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent !

55) Beautiful Kashmiri Girl

Kashmiri Joke
Sharma and Verma were searching for their lost wife in a carnival.

Sharma: How does your wife look like?
Verma: She is kashmiri girl with 5'7", 36-24-36, fair, beautiful, sexy brown eyes, brown hair... And yours?
Sharma: Forget mine, let us look for yours...

54) Harassed Gujju Husband

A Gujju husband & his wife were talking.

Harassed Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Annoyed Husband: For you and your parents.

53) Pakistani Jokes

A Pakistani husband wife angry with each other and were not talking to each other.

Husband left a note on sifebedside table, that said: "Awake me at 5 am tomorrow."

Next morning, Husband awoke at 8 am and saw a note on his bedside table: "It's 5 O' Clock, get up.

52) Funny Riddles, Brain-Teasers

Q In India, we have only Postmen, but no Postwomen, why?

A Because, they take 9 months for delivery.

* * *

Q Why did woman cricketer slap commentator Ravi Shastri ?

A Because Shastri said: She is ready for next delivery.

51) Rajasthani Jokes

Rajasthani Lady: My boy is growing up, he wants to go out with girls.

Another Rajasthani Lady: My boy is past that. He wants to stay indoors with them.

50) Bihar State Lottery

Our dear Bihari babu Laloo Prasad Yadav Ji buys a ticket for one dollar and wins the lottery. He goes to claim it.

Laloo: I want my $20 million.

Man: We give you 10 million today. The rest amount will be paid in next 6 months.

Laloo: Oh, no! I want all my money right now. If you don't do it today, then I want my dollar back.

49) Marathi Jokes

Marathi Jokes

Marathi Girl: I can't marry you. I am one year elder to you.

Marathi Boy: Don't worry, I can wait for one year. We will marry next year.

48) American Jokes

An American soldier walks into his officer's room.

To impress him, the American office picks the phone, dials a number and said "Yes sir, I understand sir. I will tell Mr Obama about it. Goodbye."

Looking at the soldier he barked "What do you want?"
"Nothing sir." he replied. "I just came to install your telephone."

47) Second marriage

Husband - Ex Wife - Girl Friend

Wife: Honey, if I die would you get married again?

Husband: No dear.

Wife: I'm sure you would.

Annoyed husband: Okay, I would.

Wife: Would you let her sleep in our bed?

Husband: Ya, I guess so.

Wife: Would you let her wear my clothes.

Husband: No, she is taller than you.

46) Pathan Jokes

A Pathan joined army and was given a gun.

Pathan to Commander: Sir, to what side should I point its nozzle, towards myself or to the opposite side.

Commander: Stupid, keep it anyway, in both the cases it will benefit the nation.

45) Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris got promotion from clerk to manager.

He went home and told his wife in new style "You will sleep with a manager today…"

Wife fell unconscious.

44) Doctor Patient Jokes

Patient: Doctor, when I take a bath I get wet.

Doctor: Ok, next time when you are going to take a bath, turn off the tap.

43) Bar jokes

A drunk man in a bar points towards sky and asks another drunk: Is it sun or moon?

Other drunk replied: I can't say what it is, because I am also new in the town.

42) Fight at Bar

Santa: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me a drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender gives him a drink.

Santa again says: Hurry-up, hurry-up, give me drink. Fight is about to start.

Bartender again gives him a drink.

Santa again asks for a drink as the fight is about to star.

Bartender: When on earth the fight will start?

Santa: When you will ask for money.

41) Wow! Pregnancy

Little boy: Aunty, what is inside your stomach?

Pregnant Lady: It's a cute little baby.

Little Boy: If it is cute, why did u eat it?

40) Marriage date

Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married.

Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage?

Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th.

39) Sinking Titanic

Titanic was sinking.

English Man: How much the earth is far from here?

Santa: 2 kilo meter.

English Man jumped into the sea and asked again: ...to which direction?

Santa: Downwards.

38) Patient-Doctor Short Jokes

Patient: Doctor, I don't remember anything, sometimes on road I even forget if I am going to office from home or going back to home from office.

Doctor: In such a condition, you should check your tiffin. If it is empty then you are going to home, if it is full, you are going to office.

37) Husband-Wife Jokes

Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.

Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

Husband: I know all that.

Wife: Then did you invite the friend?

Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

36) Grow trees save earth

A man saw two workers. One of them dig a hole, and the other guy immediately fill it with soil again. They repeated the work again and again.

The man couldn't understand their job. He asked them about it. Worker replied, "The third guy who plants the trees is on leave today."

35) Chemistry Joke


Teacher: What is the chemical formula of water?

Student: HIJKLMNO.

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Student: Yesterday you said H to O.

34) Gandhi Joke

Laloo applied for the post of a detective. In the interview he was asked a question:

Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?

Laloo: I will tell you tomorrow.

Laloo come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Gandhi.

33) Job Joke

Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't have any more work.

Applicant: That's all right, sir. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't ask you to give me work anyway!!

32) Gossips & Jokes

One boy: When my grandfather died he left 10 million dollars.

Second boy: When my grandfather died he left 20 million dollars.

Third boy: That's nothing, When my grandfather died he left the whole world.

31) Life Insurance

Three insurance salesmen of different companies were having a chat.

First: When a man died, we processed the claim and delivered the check within 24 hours.

Second: When a man died, we delivered a check the same evening.

Third: That's nothing. Our office is on the 20th floor of the WTC. A man was working on the 50th floor. He slipped and fell. We handed him his check as he passed our floor!

* * *

Q. Define Life Insurance.

A. A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

30) * * * Silent Wife ! ! * * *

Man: I want divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.

Lawyer: Think about it once again. Wives like that are hard to get!

29) Marriage Expenses

Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married.

Dad: I never calculated, I am still paying for it.

28) Piano Man

"Why do you close your eyes while playing the piano?"
"I can't see the agony of the audience."

27) Sorry Wrong Number !!

An man rang labor room of hospital to to know about his pregnant wife. By mistake he dialled the number of a cricket stadium.

Man: How's it going?

Reply: Fine, four are already out. The last one was a duck.

26) Punjab Government Holidays

Teacher: What is common between Buddha , Jesus , Mahavir and Guru Nanak?

Student: All of them were born on Punjab Government Holidays!

25) Accountancy

An accountant visits a museum with a friend.

Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.

Friend: Where did you get this exact information?

Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.

24) Santa at grave

Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."

A man asked: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend?"

Santa: My wife's first husband.

23) Teacher-Student Joke

Teacher: Robin, your essay on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy from him?

Student: No, teacher, it's about the same dog!

22) Husband Wife Jokes

A husband was returning home after cremating his wife.

He sees heavy lightning and thunderstorm in the sky.

He thinks: She must have reached there.

Hindi Version

Ik husband apni wife ke kirya kram (cremation) kar ke ghar lot raha tha.

Tabhi jor se bijli chamki aur badal garje.

Pati bola: Lagta hai pohonch gayi.

21) Killer Blue Line Buses

In New Delhi, Blue-line buses are notorious for killing people in accidents.

Today a Blue-line bus driver saved
2 lives.

HowZ dat possible?
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He did not go to job today.

20) Bihari Jokes: Laloo Rabri Accident

Rabri: Why have you increased speed of car?

Laloo: Break has failed. We should reach home before accident.

Hindi Version

Rabri: Kyon ji, aapne gadi ki speed kyon bdha di hai?

Laloo: Break fail ho gayi hai, accident hone se pehle hum ghar pahounch jaaige.

19) Lalu Joke

Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you have broken.

Lalu: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Medical Jokes

Rajan: Why are you heating the knief.

Sajan: To do suicide.

Rajan: But why are you heating it?

Sajan: To prevent infection.

17) Salary Jokes


Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you?
Girlfriend: It is sufficient for me, but how will you survive?

16) BOSS.......

Angry Boss: Have you ever seen an owl?

Man: (looking down) No Sir...

Boss: Don't look down. Look at me.

15) Missed call

Santa & Banta got tired using cell phones. For a change, they decided to use pigeons to send messages. And this scheme worked very fine.

One day Santa sends his pigeon.

Banta sees the pigeon is without any message. He picks his mobile and asks Santa: The pigeon is without any message.

Santa: Oye khotey, that was a missed call.

14) Lawyers Jokes

Man to Lawyer: What is your fees?

Lawyer: $200 for 3 questions.

Man: Isn't it too high?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

13) Sports Jokes: Cricket: Team India

Judge asks a little girl: Now that your parents are getting divorced do you want to live with your mummy?

Girl: No, my mummy beats me.

Judge: Well then, I guess you want to live with your daddy.

Girl: No, my daddy beats me too.

Judge: Well then, who do you want to live with?

Girl: I want to live with the Indian Cricket team, they never beat anybody !!!

12) Man Vs Woman

Man said to Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?

Priest: So that you will love them.

Man: But why did God make them so dumb?

Priest: So that they will love you.

11) Teacher Student Jokes

Joke
A girl student comes late to class in a college.

Teacher: Why a re you late?

Girl student: One boy was following me, sir.

Teacher: So, What?

Girl student: That boy was walking very slow.

10) SC/BC/OBC Reservation

Manmohan Singh: We are sending Indians to the moon next year!

Bush: Wow! How many?

Manamohan Singh: 7 OBC, 5 SC, 8 ST, 3 Handicapped, 2 Sports Persons, 3 Terrorist Affected, 3 Kashmiri Migrants, 2 MPs & 1 Astronaut.

9) Marriage & Divorce

Santa: I got married because I was tired of cooking, cleaning home and washing clothes.

Banta: Amazing, I got divorce for the same reason.

8) Short Laloo Jokes

Laloo was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure what to be filled in column
"Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote:
YES Expected!

7) Dogs and Cats

A dog thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house, and take good care of me... They must be gods!

A cat thinks: My owners feed me, love me, provide me with a nice house and take good care of me...
I must be a god!

6) Gujju Joke

A Gujju girl had habit of biting her fingernails. She started doing yoga to treat the problem. Soon her fingernails started growing normally.

Seeing this, her friend asked if yoga had totally cured her problem.

"No," Gujju girl replied, "but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead."

5) Yoga cures drinking

Marathi Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?
Marathi Woman: Yes, An Amazing Effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

4) Dog for sale

Buyer to seller: Is it a faithful dog?
Marathi Seller: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

3) Boy-Friend — Girl-Friend Jokes

Girl to Boyfriend: Now it is time we should marry.
Boy: That's ok, but who will marry us.

2) Funny Jokes:Munna Bhai

College Principal: If a boy is found in girl's hostel, he will be fined $20 first time, $30 second time and $50 third time.
Munna Bhai: What will you charge for a Monthly Pass, mamu?

1) Santa-Banta Jokes

Santa: So, you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Banta: Yes, their dog is our dog's cousin brother.